Slower!
business email glossary
thanks in advance:get this done by the time i press "send"
thanks for your interest:why'd you have to bring this up
would you be so kind:fucking do it
best:i have never physically met you
all best:this conversation is over
all my best:i wish you would die
happy to help:this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps:i've done all i'm willing to do
i did a bit of research:i googled it, because you're too lazy to
sorry to chase:answer my email
so sorry to chase:answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but:i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague:this isn't my problem
i'm copying in my colleague:this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
i'll check and get back to you:i might forget to
i'll let you know when i hear anything:i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?:i'm hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation:i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now:you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!:i'm not mad at you
thanks!!:please don't be mad at me
thanks!!!:i'm crying at my desk
please advise:this might be your fault
kindly advise:this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?:i'm already in the elevator
can you confirm for me:you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear:i think you're an idiot
let me know if you need anything else:please never contact me again
Most psychologically and/or physically abused children have been taught by parenting adults that love can coexist with abuse. And in extreme cases that abuse is an expression of love. This faulty thinking often shapes our adult perceptions of love. So that just as we would cling to the notion that those who hurt us as children loved us, we try to rationalize being hurt by other adults by insisting that they love us.
Bell Hooks, All About Love (via thatcoolaunt)
